A Note From My Younger Self
Sometimes the encouragement we need was already there.
I stared at the pile of notebooks and external hard drives gathered on my dining room table unsure where to begin. A pile of information I had amassed over the last decade. Notes from courses. Books. Podcasts. Stories I had written down about writing, business, parenting, health…my life.
I knew I wanted to launch Good. Begin Again. I’d been preparing for it for years but I kept putting off the start date. First 3 months, then 6 months, then a year…and another. Telling myself when life isn’t so chaotic, I’d start. When I have more energy. When I get better sleep. But I continued to read more books and add to the growing pile of information I’d use…someday.
A couple years ago, I was watching a YouTube video about online business. I’m fairly certain it was one by Louise Henry and she said something like, “No more research. Print out all the notes you’ve recorded from all the courses you’ve taken and books you’ve read. You already have what you need. Use it.”
Without even knowing me, she called me out.
So one by one I printed out my collection of notes from hard drives. From files deep in the cloud. And as I printed, I read through them. It was like reliving the past decade plus. A completely different stage in my life.
Trying to make sense of running a business while raising a family. Keeping myself healthy while keeping my children alive through the teenage years.
And then a small entry from over 10 years ago caught me off guard. It was like a note to the future. From my younger self to the person I am now.
“If you don’t write your story, in your own voice, no one else can, and no one else ever will. Write it.”
It was dated early 2014. Just a couple months after my mom died.
My mom was my north star. She grounded me. I could always set my compass to her no matter where I was in the world.
She was my sounding board for the things I wanted to accomplish. I would spend hours talking to her about all of it. I even officially declared her my “accountability partner” back when I started my photography business. And she was always chiming in with encouraging words of “You can do it, Care!”
And when she was gone, anything outside of showing up for my family and my day job felt like more than I had the bandwidth for.
But reading that note from my younger self, it was almost like she knew I would find it, when I was ready.
Of course, the irony is that my mom was never one to wallow the way I’m prone to. No doubt that years ago, she would have clapped her hands 3 times, given me one of her big smiles, and said, “Time to get off the pity party, Care, and let’s get going!”
I organized the printed notes in a blue binder, dividing them into sections. I highlighted certain bits I wanted to remember and created a reference guide from my younger self that I can easily flip through whenever I need a bit of inspiration.
A year after putting together the Blue Binder, I finally launched this newsletter.
What took me the extra year though was learning how to stop falling back on “I need more research.”
To keep myself on task, I’d set up some daily reminders on my phone and computer. Things like ‘Do your most important task first.’ ‘Take action now.’ But over time, I grew to ignore them.
And then one day when I was really struggling with some writing, a phrase my mom always used to say popped into my head, “You can do it, Care. No sweat.”
I grabbed my phone, opened my Reminders app, and started changing up the reminders to be in my mom’s voice.
6am: Good morning to you! Good morning to you!
8am: Let’s get going Care! You can do it!
11am: You can figure it out, Care! No sweat. Keep going!
1pm: Get’er done Care! Done is better than perfect.
3pm: C’mon Care! Final push for the day. You can do this.
And now, whether I’m working on “writing my own story”, or working on client work, or simply unpacking the endless moving boxes, I always notice the reminders coming through.
I can see her smile and hear her voice, along with the way she would clap to the rhythm of the phrases when she said them.
I always say, “Thank you Mom” when they come through since it’s often the exact reminder I need in the moment.
Mother’s Day can be celebratory, complicated, tender, painful…or all of those things at once.
But if there’s someone whose voice once encouraged you through life, whether your mother or someone else, maybe this is something worth trying.
A few small reminders. In their voice.
Little moments throughout the day encouraging you to keep going.
For me, those little touch points in my mom’s voice were just what I needed to begin again.
Cheers,
Carrie